From 0-3 months of age, baby and family are getting to know themselves and each other in a completely new world. No longer is baby feeling safe and secure in the womb and everything they have known to the point is now completely different. It is the same for the rest of the family who now have a new lifestyle to contend with and get used to. While it is not a completely new world for the family, new mums and dads are learning to be parents and raise a child, saying farewell-for-now to their life before hand. Any siblings are adjusting to sharing the attention and changes in routine and structure. It's an adjustment for all and there is an overwhelming amount of information and advice out there. Every child is different and will grow and learn at their own pace. The most important piece of advice I can offer is: DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!
In raising my little one thus far I have been overwhelmed with advice and have information from my own research. I have looked into a variety of approaches: Montessori, Waldolf, Reggio-Emilia, Steiner, Play-Based, Traditional and more. Each of the approaches have pros and cons and as I mentioned above, you have to do what feels right to you. But I can tell you honestly that I have never stuck to just one of these approaches and have had moments of being authoritarian, authoritative and permissive in different situations and contexts. There are lots of fancy kits, endless resources and range of toys that are out there, and again, you have to use what works for your family. This post will detail what I did with my newborn in the first three months of her life and I hope it gives you some ideas to support you in the beginning stage of parenting a newborn.
In the first three months of life, newborn babies are discovering how their body works and moves. They move their arms and legs about. They use their eyes to look around and move their face to respond to stimuli in their environment. Their senses are still developing, especially their sight, and this stage of development is what I like to call the enchanting stage. Babies are enchanted, mesmerised and charmed by their environment and the people who love them most, working out who to trust or mistrust. While families are enchanted, mesmerised and charmed by this new life they get to love and bond with, working out who they are. It's magical!
Here are some things I believe are essential to this stage of development, play and learning:
Tummy Time
Tummy time is one of the most important aspects of learning for a baby. From the moment she was born, baby was experiencing tummy time on Daddy's chest during moments of skin-to-skin contact and bonding time while in the hospital. She would try to lift her head and neck to look around at the blur of lights and sounds in our hospital room. Following this, when she came home, she would have brief moments of tummy time throughout the day on a mat in front of a mirror or looking at cards or a toy on the floor. There are many babies I know that have really disliked tummy time at the beginning, but it's important to stick with it and build up the time on their tummy.Tummy time leads to babies sitting up, crawling and eventually walking on their own. It is crucial for developing their core strength. It doesn't always have to be on the floor, it can be in their cot or bassinet, on a parent's chest, outdoors etc. as long as it is supervised. And tummy time doesn't need fancy or expensive resources and toys. Here are the top five things you need for tummy time:
a soft flat mat - I started with a cheap memory foam bath mat and also had a leaf play mat. I was given a colourful play mat in the hospital, but found this to be too "busy" and colourful for baby at this stage. Both mats I used were great because at this stage, baby isn't moving around so the space needs to be flat, but soft to lay on.
a mirror - I never brought a children's mirror because I couldn't justify the expense. Instead I used an old wall mirror from our bedroom suite that we no-longer needed. I laid it landscape and wedged it/attached it to the wall so it could not fall on baby. It's important for baby to be able to see themselves in a mirror but they aren't capable of moving enough to be able to break it so I wasn't concerned about the risk of the mirror breaking. It was fantastic for her to develop self-awareness as she discovered how her body moved.
a book or cards - I will talk more about the high-contrast cards and books I used for tummy time, however, you could print on card an image or pattern for baby to look at.
something for baby to try to reach - It doesn't have to be an actual toy but it is good to have something they wonder about and want to try to reach as they are developing their grasping. It could be one of their spoons, a dummy, a block, a rattle, a crinkle toy etc. Crinkle toys can be made or purchased: I got into sewing just before falling pregnant so at this time it was a good excuse to learn something new and keep me busy during nap times.
a towel - I used both a rolled towel and a caterpillar toy to support baby under the arms for some tummy time experiences. It helped her lift up higher and last longer during tummy time. A firm cushion may have worked also, otherwise there are lots of tummy time pillows that could be purchased which have toys attached too. I never used a feeding pillow, but this is another alternative.
Oral Language
Talk, talk, talk to your baby. This is also another very important aspects of learning and development for babies. At first, I found it challenging to talk to my baby about what I was doing as I'm not a talkative person but after some practise I began talking or singing about everything. For example; I made a tune up and used it for lots of things in our day such as "We're going in the bath, we're going in the bath, we're going in the bath...to wash, wash, wash." Other ways for your baby to hear words and develop early language skills could be:
reading books to baby
singing nursery rhymes or songs to baby
copying sounds that baby makes
making silly sounds with a puppet to baby
naming things with baby
High Contrast
Your baby's eyes are still developing in these first months. At birth, an infant is very sensitive to bright light. A newborn baby can see something next to them but their central vision is still developing. Within a couple of weeks, as their retinas develop and their pupils widen, they can see light and dark ranges and patterns. While, large shapes and bright colors may begin to attract their attention. So using high contrast images or books with baby, particularly during tummy time, will support your baby in developing focus. From 1 month, your baby will start to focus more on things in front of them or close to them and will be able to start tracking objects that may move in front of them. At first, babies only see in black and white, and over the months, will them begin to see other colours and distinguish between shades. Starting with high contrast, black and white images is best, and then gradually introduce images containing primary colours and then shades or different colours. Ideas for images could be:
geometric patterns or shapes eg: dots, checked, star.
nature silhouettes eg: animals, flowers, leaves, tree.
everyday object silhouettes eg: spoon, car, house, blocks, chair, dummy.
Mobiles
These are such an invaluable resource for newborn play. Mobiles encourage babies to focus, look and track with their eyes, to practise moving their arms and legs as they try to reach objects and also support cognitive development as they begin to wonder and think. During this stage of unoccupied play, my husband and I made a play gym for baby and we had a traditional mobile above her cot. But then I made the Montessori Mobiles to use with her in her play area as they matched the stages of visual and cognitive development. While, difficult and time consuming to make, they were wonderful. To simplify these for parents who may not be able to purchase these mobiles or have a lot of time to make them; I recommend the following:
0-5 weeks old - 2 or 3 black and white geometric shapes printed on strong board inspired by a Munari mobile. An alternative could be a black and white spiral on a string or black and white ribbons or objects.
5-8 weeks old - the same 3D object in red, blue and yellow inspired by the Octahedron mobile. An alternative could be to make a 3D object using coloured card. A reflective card is good as the light bounces off in interesting ways.
7-10 weeks old - 5 pom poms or balls in different shades of the same colour arranged in a diagonal line dangling from a rod inspired by the Gobbi mobile. An alternative to pom poms or balls could be ribbons or pieces of fabric.
8-12 weeks old - circles and arches of coloured card arranged as a person dangling inspired by the Dancer mobile. An alternative to this style of mobile, could be other traditional mobiles or shapes/figures.
Sensory Play
As it suggests, sensory play is all about stimulating the senses. It is important for children of all ages to experience sensory play as it is how they learn about their world and make connections. I've talked a lot about developing the sense of sight with things like high contrast images and mobiles and developing the sense of hearing with oral language. Further to this, it is not possible to develop a newborn's sense of taste at this stage as they are still too young for foods, but you could experiment with the temperature of their milk. For example; my baby was bottle fed and did not like warm milk, taking a liking to milk at room temperature or cold. Here are some ways to develop their other senses:
touch-and-feel - there are so many touch and feel books out there to purchase (my favourite are definitely the That's not my... Usborne books) but textured fabrics could be taped to the floor for the same benefits. Another way of using touch and feel experiences is sensory bags filled with water and objects, taped to the floor. Using different fabrics in your play with baby eg: to play peek-a-boo or sing a song can be great too!
rattles or blocks - rattles can produce a range of sounds and can be purchased or made by inserting or attaching a bell to a soft toy or stick. Another way to make a rattle is attaching rings/links to each other or using a small filled plastic bottle. Sensory blocks can be purchased with reflective faces, moving parts or bells inside. These are great for developing a babies grasping too!
attachments to feet - as baby kicks or moves their legs, they enjoy and respond to the sound of a sock with a bell sewn in or the bouncing of a balloon. Alternatives to attaching something to their foot, could be a ball near their feet, a textured board or fabric near their feet or crinkle toy below their legs.
nature - go outdoors and spend time in different places to develop all the senses, especially, smell, sight and hearing. Going on a walk through the bush is filled with the sounds of animals and footsteps as well as the smell of trees and flowers.
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